Sunday, March 15, 2009

lesson learned

yesterday was not my day. and i'm still to upset from the day to say what happened. but i will say that an event occured that made me ponder my abilities as a parent and my overall abilities as a functioning adult. the situation itself was bad enough. it was one of those situations where as a mother you are instantly physically sick and your heart begins to bleed. and then i was met with anger, judgement and contempt from a renegade jury of my peers. who i must say i am still grateful to for the service they provided for my family. but, a situation that was already bad was made 100 times worse. i can't remember the last time i have felt so low about myself. and as the shock started to wear off it made me start to wonder. how many times have i jumped to judgement when i've seen or heard about a less than perfect situation that has occurred?? have i shown people love in their hour of need or have i looked upon them with judging eyes?? i hope that if i am in a similar situation again (on the other side next time please lord) that i will offer a supportive and comforting arm to the one in need. that i will help them to understand that no one is perfect and sometimes unfortunate things happen. that i will look upon them with eyes that show love and compassion rather than hate and anger. i hope i leave them in a better place than the one i found them in. that is my dearest and sincerest prayer on this sabbath day. and i am so eternally grateful to my heavenly father for the love and protection that i know he provides to me and my family.

7 comments:

Olivia said...

((((hugs))))

Mindy said...

I hope you are feeling better! I'm sorry to hear about your rough day. I had my lowest day as a mother August of '07 and it still haunts me. Another mother witnessed it and it was horrific. I think the hardest part is forgiving ourselves. I'm still working on it.

You are a great and don't forget it!

Jandi said...

I hope everything is okay... Give me a call! We ALL have those days, that is what makes us STRONGER!

Angie Fellows said...

I'm so sorry you had such a horrible day. Don't get too down on yourself- you are truly an amazing mother. Don't forget that!! Please give me a call if you need anything at all- even to just vent about those people that were judgemental. =)

5 mcneils said...

As you can tell, most people have been there, and those that won't admit have probably had more than their fair share. We are all imperfect, I think that is the hardest and sweetest part of the plan. I think it's their to teach us humility and to give us that in common. So it doesn't matter the individual circumstance as long as we learn from it then it's all good. And maybe those who witnessed weren't really judging as much as remembering their own faults. It's always easier to fix someone else's problems than our own. Hope you are doing better.

Natalie said...

hugs from a couple houses down - always know that you have a support group to get you through those hard days.

Kaldor Family said...

You are that way Tammy. I always felt you were loving me without judgement. Thats probably why you felt so hurt when others didn't do that for you. Hope your doing better now!
Love, Amy